Belonging
by LikeTheBlackAndWhiteCat
Summary: Was it really worth it? She doesn't know. What she does know is that she's back with the Fosters and she isn't happy - no matter how hard she tries, or how much she pretends to be. Sequel to Pretending.
1. Chapter 1

**So, as decided by you guys, here's THE FIRST CHAPTER to the sequel of my story PRETENDING. **

**Now admittedly it's kinda very short, but to be honest nothing I write is ever particularly long - though not by lack of trying...**

**Slightly off topic, but is anyone looking forward to the eclipse tomorrow? I'm pretty sure that it's reason enough to have a Heroes marathon - well, so long as I ignore the fact that I should be revising for Biology...**

**Anyway, without further ado, let the story-ing begin! (Heh - that almost definitely doesn't rhyme)**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. NOOOOTHIIIIIIIIING!**

**CHAPTER ONE**

She knew that she should be happy. She was, after all, back at home and living with the Fosters. Not only that, but Robert had, once again, agreed to sign the papers. She should have been over the moon, but she wasn't.

She felt guilty. Guilty about just how pleased everyone was to have her back, guilty about how she'd made Lena and Stef worry when she'd gone, and guilty about how she'd treated Robert. She had, come to think about it, essentially emotionally blackmailed him into giving her up, without a single thought on how it affected her father. She hadn't cared about how he felt about it, and had completely disregarded the time and effort he'd put into both getting to know her and her general wellbeing. She'd acted completely selfish and self-obsessed. In fact, it kind of reminded her of Sophia. Her half-sister had ripped up the abandonment forms in an effort to gain a sister and a friend, and know she'd gotten herself arrested to gain a family. The two of them were alike, sharing more than just their looks.

And if she'd hated Sophia for what she'd done, God knows how Robert felt about her now.

_He's probably realised what a selfish pathetic bitch you are. You cry and worry about people not wanting them, but really it's all you deserve. Your actions, your consequences. _

She felt sick.

Closing her eyes, she counted backwards from ten, trying to fight the nausea. Failing, she raced to the bathroom and promptly threw up.

"Callie?" She looked up to find that Lena was stood in the doorway, the concern clear in her eyes. "Honey, are you okay?"

The girl shrugged. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just ate something bad I suppose." Her voice was firm and clear - an obvious dismissal.

Lena sighed. As much as she wanted to help her daughter - to comfort and hold her - she knew that nothing she did would work. If Callie didn't want to talk then she wouldn't - both she and Stef shared that same sometimes infuriating, stubborn streak.

"Okay." Pressing her lips together in a tight smile, Lena nodded and left the room, heading towards the kitchen to find her wife, and leaving the teen alone as silently requested.

Callie pressed the side of her face against the cool surface of the sink as she watched her leave. At one point, Lena wouldn't have just gone, but instead insist on staying to help her, before taking her to Stef and her's room and sitting her down, forcing her to talk to the, about what was wrong - be it that she wasn't feeling well or that a school topic was causing her stress. But since she'd been home... it was different. Both moms acted like they were treading on eggshells around her, as though one wrong move and she'd break into a thousand pieces.

_Yeah, right. She was _way_ past that stage. She'd been long past it before she'd even _met_ them. But she knew how to pretend. Pretend that everything was alright. Pretend that she wasn't hurting. Pretend that she was okay. As weak and pitiful as she was, she could always pretend to be strong. She'd been doing it for years..._

But they didn't seem to get that. Which meant that they continued to pussyfoot around her, in an attempt to make sure that she felt safe and at home, but really all that it made clear was how much she had to lose, on how, even after all this time, she was still separate from the rest of them, still threatened by the possibility of being taken away. It just reminded her of how little control she had over her own life, and how isolated she was front the rest of them - Jude included.

For god's sake, she hadn't even been properly punished for her getting-arrested-going-away stunt, instead grounded for a month and given extra chores and school related tasks for the remainder of her suspension. Jude, who'd hidden in the back of the car and helped find her, had also been grounded , though this time for two weeks with a lpromise of extra chores and a weeks ban on video games. It was ridiculous, and, in all honesty, made her wonder if she even belonged with the Fosters when she had so try so hard to fit in and still failed, or if it was - and always had been - just a really good illusion.


	2. Chapter 2

**HHey, so here's the second chapter :) Hopefully you'll all like it. Can I just say WOW seven reviews, TWENTY-NINE followers and FIFTEEN favourites?! Thaaaaannnnksss :D That's like, AMAZING! ( I know that at least a couple of people reading this will be like "So what? Phssst, that's nothing", but to me its unbelievable - like bungee-jumping llama unbelievable). Any how, THANK YOU. Again, review, favourite, follow if you like and yeah...**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Not even the bungee-jumping llama that I mentioned earlier. Some day, maybe... *sigh***

**CHAPTER TWO**

" I don't get it, Stef. She's not meant tot be like this, she's meant to be happier - she's home and Robert's going to sign the papers. Everything's _finally_ going her way."

Stef raised an eyebrow, but didn't question her wife as she anxiously paced the length of the kitchen. They both knew who Lena was talking about, how could they not? Callie had been acting differently since she'd returned from Robert's, becoming _more_ withdrawn than usual, barely speaking at mealtimes, and always excusing herself from family game night. In all honesty. both moms had noticed and worried, but neither wanted to say something - instead hoping that it'd stop once she'd settled back in. But it had been over a week - almost _two_ \- since Callie had been back, and she was only getting worse. Not only that, but now they worried that they'd waited too long - that anything they now did wouldn't work, would be questioned more. They worried that they might have failed her. _Again._

"What happened?" Stef leant against the counter and placed a reassuring hand on her partner's arm, stilling her. "Love?"

"She threw up, Stef, she threw up and I tried to help her, but she didn't want it. She didn't want _me._" Lena's soft brown eyes filled with tears and her anxious expression became one of pain. She sighed. "I don't know what to do, Stef, and I _hate_ it. Our _daughter_ is upset and she won't talk to us or tell us why. She won't tell _anyone - _not me or you, or Brandon. God, she won't even tell _Jude_! This is big, Stef, and important, and I _really _think that if she spoke to someone, be it one of us or a professional..."

"Like a 'shrink?" Stef raised an eyebrow questioning. "Love, there is _no way_ that she'd agree to that. If she won't talk to us - to _Jude - _why would she talk to a complete stranger that she doesn't know? We can't pressure her into talking, Love, you and I both know that that's not how Callie works."

Lena sighed again. "Then what? What do we do, Stef? How do we help our daughter? How do we get her to reach out to us and _let _us help her?"

Now it was Stef's turn to sigh. "I have no idea," She admitted, "But we'll manage - we always do."

...

Jude stood at the top of the stairs, completely still, his face tight with anger. Before he could think about what he was doing, he marched into his sisters' room and glared at Callie, who was sat hugging her knees on the floor and leaning up against the side of her bed.

"You're an idiot." e stated, his voice clipped as he tried to keep his temper. You're ruining _everything._ Stef and Lena - _my_ _moms_ \- are downstairs and upset that _you_ won't talk to them. So do it - talk to them. They deserve that much. They do loads for us and you just _try_ to make things difficult. Well stop it, okay? Stop being stupid, and selfish and _talk_ to them. Or you'll end up being _really_ miserable and lonely, because if they chuck you out I'm staying her. i like it here and I'm adopted and they're _nice._ Which is more than can be said for you, right now."

She just looked at him, her expression unreadable, her eyes dull and blank. "Okay." Her voice was toneless and robotic, "If that's what you want."

Jude nodded, no longer as angry. "It is."

"Well then, consider it done." She offered him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes and he nodded once more, suddenly uncomfortable.

Without another word, he left.

Callie watched him go, her face still a blank mask - expressionless. He was right.

_She_ was causing this pain. _She_ was a problem for the two women - for all of them really. _She_ didn't deserve to be with them.

_Told you so. You don't deserve _anything_. You don't _deserve_ to be happy. You're a fucking useless piece of shit and you're going to ruin everything - _again.

Her eyes filled with something - hurt - before they hardened and anger replaced the pain.

She din't _want _to trouble them, didn't _want_ to be the cause of _their_ pain. They shouldn't even really be bothering with her, not when they could be concentrating on their _other_ kids - the ones that were actually _theirs_, be it through adoption or biological means. Not her. _She _still wasn't adopted. She was still just a foster kid - unimportant and not worth the hassle, as it was supposed to be.

She didn't understand why they hadn't changed their minds and _finally_ decided that she wasn't worth the hassle. Once they decided that they no longer wanted her, they could be happy - _all _of them. They wouldn't need to think about _her_ or how _she_ felt. They'd be happy and free of the burden that was Callie Jacob, and she'd no longer have to worry about screwing it all up and hurting Jude by ruining things for him. Besides, Jude was already adopted, and wasn't that all that _really_ mattered?

Why the hell should they be expected to still give a _fuck_ about her?

She didn't.


	3. Chapter 3

**So here's the next chapter. I'm afraid that it's a little... bitty, not particularly long and I'm not 100% pleased with it, but it's been almost a month since I began and it's _still_ not working, so it'll do. =/**

**Please favourite, review and follow, and let me know what you thought of it.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own not this great show, nor the ability to speakth Shakespearian English **

**CHAPTER THREE**

She wanted to talk to them, to tell them _why_ she'd been so distant and so... upset. She really wanted to... but she couldn't. Talking to them - telling them what was wrong - meant just admitting that - something _was_ wrong. She didn't want to tell them how bad and _guilty_ she felt about leaving the Quinns', nor about the invisible barrier which seemed to be in place, isolating her from them. She also didn't to seem ungrateful - they'd all fought for her and now here she was, complaining - and unsure as to whether or not she actually belong there with them, or if she'd only ever liked it for Jude's sake. She really wished that she knew the answer.

But she didn't.

And the only way that she would find out would more than likely change both moms' opinions of her. And she was selfish enough not to want - not to _let_ \- that happen. But that meant that she couldn't talk to them, no matter how much she want to.

_So what, you're stuck? You feel guilty about not being able to talk to them, which makes you unhappy, and you can't talk to them about feeling unhappy without explaining how guilty you feel. Seriously?! Stop bullshitting yourself and actually realise how good it is here. There's no pain, no beatings, no need to protect Jude. Who cares whether you belong if you're safe? Jeez, you really_ are _a pathetic excuse for a human being. |You can't even fucking deny it, can you? You _know_ that it's true._

She hit her head against her bed frame, forcing her thoughts away and bringing her back to reality.

A reality that she hated. A reality in which she had no idea what to do, _who_ to talk to, not really, not without hurting someone.

And she couldn't bear to be the cause of more pain, not to them.

It was times like this that she wished she could escape reality.

...

"Well that's just stupid!" Never one to faff around, Daphne got straight to the point, rolling her eyes at her friend. "So what, you're going to mope around all day, every day, instead of actually doing something and _letting_ yourself be happy? Damn, I misjudged you, girl - thought that you were smarter than that."

Callie opened her mouth to protest, but was silenced with a look.

"You've got everything that you could ever want - a family, _and_ a dad, that cares about you, a home that's actually safe to live in, the chance for a great future - and what, you want to destroy all that rather than talk to them. You know that they won't be upset, they'll understand. You're lucky, you have so much going for you, but you've _got_ to work for it and you've _got_ to take it whilst you still have a chance. I mean, if I had a chance to get my baby..." The girl trailed off and sighed. "Nothing could stop me getting to my family, what's stopping you getting yours?"

Callie sighed, but didn't object. "Yeah," She finally agreed, "You're right."

"And you've only just realised? Damn, I _really_ thought you were smarter than that!" Daphne smirked, humour tinting her words, making both girls laugh.

Standing up, Callie sighed again. "I should probably go now."

Her friend nodded. "Do you know what you're going to do."

The brunette nodded, her expression determined, though her eyes failed to hide her fear. "Yeah," She replied, "I have a pretty good idea."

...

It took longer to walk there than she had expected. By the time she'd reached the house, it was late afternoon, and she knew that Stef and Lena would soon begin worrying. But she planned to call them once she was inside.

Knocking on the door, she was surprised when it opened straight away, and even more surprise to find her sister on the other side of it.

"Sophia -!"

"Callie?!"

The younger girl glared at her. "What are _you_ doing here?" The venom in her voice was clear, and Callie flinched at the sound of it.

"I came to see Robert... and you." She bit her lip, nervous.

Sophia's pretty face contorted to one of rage before going completely blank. "He doesn't want to see you. Non of us do." Her voice was so cold, so distant, so unlike its usual cheery tone hat it felt as though someone had kicked Callie in the stomach.

_She'd done this. It was because of her that Sophia was upset. She'd hurt them... She'd _hurt_ them. She didn't deserve any form of forgiveness. _It had been a mistake to visit them, she knew that she still tried.

"Sophia, I'm sorry. Really, I swear that I -"

"Save it. I don't care. I don't want to see you _ever_ again. I wished I'd never met you - you're _nothing_ like I imagined a sister would be like, and I... I hate you."

Blinking back tears, Callie tried again. "Please, just let me see Robert, let me explain- !"

"No." The young girl shook her head firmly. "No. No one wants to hear it, no one. So if you want to prove that you're sorry - like _really_ sorry - then go, right now. But if you don't, then you'll just upset my dad more, which will prove just how much you _don't_ care. Your choice."

Callie bit her lip, half tempted to stay, but she... couldn't. _You've done enough damage all ready, and now you're upset because you're sister - who'd worshipped you - has just realised what a selfish bitch you are, and its All Your Fault._

"Okay." She sighed, "Okay, I'll leave. But Sophia, please... don't let us leave it like this?"

Her half-sister said nothing, so she had no choice but to turn and walk away.

...

By the time she got home, she was late to inner and both moms were furious. Separating her from their other children, they took her outside and sat down on the old porch swing

"Why?" Stef stopped pacing back and forth long enough to turn and look at her, arms cross, expression serious. "Where did you go, and why didn't you bother telling us? Did you want us to worry? Haven't we done enough of that this week?!" Though her words were sharp and angry, Stef immediately regretted her choice of words when the teen's expression crumpled and she began sobbing uncontrollably.

Lena shot her partner a warning look and both rushed to comfort the crying girl, both knowing full well that it was rare for Callie to lose control and openly cry in front of them - something had to be the cause of it and Stef would bet a week's wage that it was the same reason she'd been so withdrawn since coming home.

"Sweetie, please," Lena whispered softly in her ear, stroking her hair in an effort to console her, "Tell me and mom what's wrong."

Callie looked up to face her. Daphne was right, she could trust them, they weren't going anywhere and neither was she - _Well, as long as you don't fuck everything up, and knowing you that's a possibility..._

Shaking her head, she wiped away her tears and forced her breathing to slow. She bit her lip and looked from one woman to the other. She sighed, shrugging slightly, and shook her head, before bowing it so to break eye contact and avoid having to look at either of them. "It's just been a long day," she told them, really only half lying, "Nothing is wrong, I was just being silly. I'm sorry, I should have called and told you that I was going to be late."

She shrugged again, and left, re-entering the house via the kitchen, and without waiting to be excused.

_You could have told them, idiot. THey're the ones you can trust. It's whoever you get sent to once they realise what a pathetic fuck up you really are that you'll probably have to worry about. But don't worry, you'll deserve it. You already do..._


	4. Chapter 4

**So here's the next part. To be honest, I was surprised by how much I actually liked this chapter... I mean, in all honesty, it doesn't move the story on thaaaaaaat much and it's not particularly long... But hopefully you'll all like it. **

**Thanks you, my latest reviewers, followers and favourite-rs. In case you guys haven't yet realised what you want is what I usually end up writing next... Unless I have a different plan to get there XD**

**So, as usual, ple****ase fave, follow and review. Oh, or PM me with suggestions, that'd also be nice :)**

**DISCLAIMER: Anything I owned has now been suck down a dark, bottomless void of nothingless...**

**CHAPTER FOUR**

She couldn't believe that she'd almost told them. Then again, she couldn't believe that she hadn't. Would it really be that bad? She wasn't sure. Her heart, as cliche as it sounded, was telling her no, it wouldn't be be bad - or at least not to the scale she was imagining; Stef and Lena loved her, they'd fought tooth and claw for her and nothing would stop them from doing that again and again, nothing would stop them from loving her... no matter what she told them, it would be okay.

But her brain said otherwise. She'd been in enough foster homes to know how foster parents felt about foster kids who were ungrateful. It wouldn't end well, it never did - not even in the good homes. She still wasn't adopted yet and wasn't going to depend on it happening. Events could be changed, easily. If things went wrong, then they would. She knew that from experience and knew better than to think otherwise.

But she didn't want to keep it to herself anymore. In fact, she didn't think that she _could_. Though she'd already told Daphne, she felt as though that wasn't enough. She knew that there had been a point not even that long ago when she'd have confined in Brandon, but now she couldn't, she no longer had that option. It didn't feel right.

_Why should he be interested what she had to say, or how she felt? Why should he care?_ It was only her and when they'd made their choice they'd also ended up choosing to reduce their friendship levels to a point where they didn't tell each other worries and fears. They were barely above acquaintances now. And they'd chosen that. Which meant that she couldn't talk to him. And sadly that really limited her options.

She knew that Mariana wouldn't understand - she didn't like Robert and couldn't see how Callie could - and Jude had made his opinion _crystal_ clear. Sophia had also made both her and Robert's current thoughts on her evident. Neither one of them wanted anything to do with her.

_I guess that Robert was no longer sorry about accidentally abandoning her when he'd followed his parents' instructions and left her mom now that she'd purposely abandoned him and his family, refusing to live with them for even the slightest amount of time._

Even though she hadn't quite meant it like that. Even though they'd agreed to stay in touch. Even though he'd said that he understood.

Still, she understood. After all, once he'd finally gotten her _out_ of his life why would he let her back _in_? In fact, why should he _bother_ with her at all? He clearly had a good, happy life _without_ her in it, why shouldn't he be just as happy without her _now_? He probably viewed inviting her to join his family as a huge fucking mistake now and, in all honesty, she had to wholeheartedly agree. She was bad. Bad for those around her in general, bad for the ones that she loved, and bad for the ones that, for whatever reason, loved her. Bad, bad, bad. Sometimes she thought - no, sometimes she _knew_ that they'd be better off without her.

_Without her unbearably pathetic presence, without her whole fucking existence. They'd be better then._

"Callie?"

She looked up as Jesus opened her bedroom door and poked his head around the frame. "Moms want you."

"Oh." She shrugged and picked up a book, flicking through the pages as she lay back down on her bed, clearly not going anywhere.

Jesus sighed and properly entered the room, going to his twin's bed and sitting on the edge of it so that he was facing the other teen. Callie looked up from her book, setting it to the side as she looked at him curiously.

"Look," he begun, soundly slightly nervous and immediately feeling incredibly dumb for even attempting to say anything to her. He sighed and shook his head, before beginning again.

"Look, I know that we're not close and I think that's fine - unlike Mama I don't think that everybody has to talk to everyone about everything - but if you _did_ want to talk to me... That'd be okay. I'd listen, promise. I mean, I might understand, or I might not, but either way I won't judge you at all. I mean, I'm a former foster kid with ADD whose birth mom is a drug addict and who almost got his girlfriend pregnant - I'm not exactly the perfect person ever, only code and _incredibly_ handsome." He smiled, a small surge of pride when she laughed at his rather..._lame_... joke. "Seriously though, you can talk to me if you want to, okay?"

She nodded, returning his smile. "Okay, thanks."

"No problem," Standing up, he smile once more at her, "Though, word of advice, when Moms call you, don't ignore them - it gets you nowhere...Trust me." He muttered the last words darkly, making her laugh again.

"Thanks," She said, "I will."

"Good."

Biting her lip, she watched as he went to the door.

_It _would_ be nice to have someone to talk to..._

"Wait!"

He paused, hand on the doorknob, and turned to face her. "Yeah?"

"I would like you to... I mean, I can I take you up on your offer?"

He grinned at her. "Sure!"

"Now?" She bit her lip as she tried not to wince at how small she sounded, how... _vulnerable_.

Without a word, he moved back into the room and sat back on the edge of his sister's bed -his _other_ sister's - as he waited for her to speak.

She smiled.

_Maybe it's not as hard as it seems._


	5. Chapter 5

**NOTE (PLEASE READ): Hey, so next chapter. I probably shouldn't be, but I'm kind of surprised how many people just want her to talk to Stef and Lena. I've got to be honest, I was hesitant to do that. I sort of want her to talk to Robert first. This story was meant to very Robert-y but Robert in a good light kind of a way, as well as with Callie-Moms scenes. I was planning on having her actually talk to Robert first, and then to have her tell them, but if people would rather she tell them first... **

**So I decided that this chapter would be kind of a filler sort of but if you guys could let me know. I've actually made a flow diagram so which ever adult(s) you want her to ask first I think its SHOULD work. I mean, all of them will know - eventually - anyway. It's just who first... **

**As usual please review, favourite and follow... oh, or PM me., I'm friendly (I think?) you can talk to me :D**

**DISCLAIMER: Forget the dog eating my homework, my geckos ate my rights to The Fosters... Then my cat tried to eat my geckos?**

**CHAPTER FIVE**

"I still don't get it, Stef. She was going to talk to us - to tell us what was bothering her - I _know_ it. But instead she just _walked away!_ It doesn't make sense. There's obviously _something_ bothering her - you don't just burst into tears like she did without reason - but she _still _won't talk! Why? Are we doing something wrong?! Is it because of _us _that she won't say?! And, also -!"

"Lena!" Stef cut her off sharply, an impatient edge to her tone. At her wife's look of hurt, she sighed and began again, this time in a softer, more gentle voice. "Look, I get it, _I do. _But this is what Callie does - you and I both know that. She runs away every time she thinks she's been to open, every time we crack open her shell and see her. She ends up feeling vulnerable so she clams up or brushes it off like it's nothing. It's how Callie works and, honestly, I'm not sure if we can change that. Its a defence mechanism she's _had _to have, and although she no longer needs it, I'm not sure she always realises that. But right now, that doesn't matter, okay? When she comes downstairs, we're going to talk to her and she's _not_ going to be able to avoid talking. She'll talk to us, you'll see, and when she does we can sort out what's bothering her, she'll see that she can trust us and everything will be okay, okay? It's simple, really. I promise you."

Lena nodded and Stef let out a loud sigh of relief.

"Good, now all we need is for a certain teen to get her ar-!"

"Stef?"

Both women turned around to see the girl in question already there, leaning against the kitchen counter with Jesus right beside her.

"Er, yeah," Slightly bewildered, Stef turned to her son questioningly. "Jesus, do you want to...?

"Leave? Sure." He nodded, already guessing what she was going to say, and turned to Callie. "Just tell them what you told me - though maybe keep the profanities to a minimum." With a grin intent to both reassure Callie and lighten the serious mood, he turned and quickly left the room.

"Profanities?"

"You talked with Jesus?"

Both women frowned in confusion as they turned to the remaining teen.

"Yeah, we spoke. He's actually a good listener." She shrugged, nonchalant, "And he was joking 'bout the profanities, everyone knows how _Lena_ feels about them."

Lena pursed her lips at that, slightly hurt and a little cross that her children knew Stef didn't feel the same way and that they all seemed to treat her option on that matter as a joke. "Right. Well we wanted to talk to you about -"

"Why I was upset earlier, I know." She shrugged again. "I already told you, it was nothing. Just me being silly."

"Well I don't agree." Stef shook her head, "And neither does Lena. We _know _that that wasn't the reason. _Nothing_ doesn't reduce someone to tears, especially not the strongest someone I know."

The girl shook her head at that, frantically so. "No." She disagreed. "No, you're wrong. You're completely wrong. It _was_ nothing, and I'm _not_ the strongest person you know. There are _so_ many people that you know who are better than me. Braver than me. I'm nothing compared to them and, honestly, that's to be expected."

"Oh Love," Stef smiled sympathetically at her, "Don't put yourself down. _No one_ is better than you, do you understand me? And you really _are_ the strongest person I know, _really_. You don't have to be brave to be strong, but even so you're that rare mixture of both. How many people have lived how you lived? JHow many people have experienced everything that you have? You _are_ so so brave, and _so _strong that I-"

"STOP IT!" Both women flinched at the venom and fury in the teen's voice. "Stop it! Don't tell me how brave or strong I am, I'm not. Don't you get it? Can't you see how pathetic I am? I'm not strong, I'm pathetic. Fucking _pathetic_, so don't lie to me, don't pretend! I mean, it's because of how pathetic I am that we're here right now, isn't it?! Because I didn't - couldn't - _can't_ \- tell you. Because, when I almost did, I ended up crying like a big pathetic little _baby_. Because. I'm. Going. To. Ruin. Everything. I'm not _strong_. I'm weak, and pathetic, okay? So don't, just... don't tell me about how strong I am, I'm not."

"Callie," Lena, began, deciding against reprimanding her for her language and trying to comfort her instead, "Callie, you're not-"

"Whatever." The teen's voice remained at its usual volume, but was now completely toneless, her eyes also dulling and her face expressionless. "Look, I heard what you said before, about keeping me down here until I talked to you. Well I've spoken, so I'm going to go now, okay?" She began to walk away, not waiting for an answer and not really caring for one either.

"Callie, wait!" Lena called, "You don't just get to walk away. No, you can't go. Instead we're going to sit at the table until you start talking - _really _talking, I mean. No more 'nothings', understood?"

She nodded and grudgingly moved back into the kitchen, sitting down at the bench, but not attempting to say a thing.

Stef raised an eyebrow. "You do realise that you're going to have to talk to us, right? As Lena said, you're not going anywhere until you do."

The girl didn't bother answering, instead choosing to stare at the wall opposite her.

Stef and Len exchanged looks, both clearly feeling the waves of hostility rolling of the teen's back.

Stef sighed, and turned to Lena. "Well, if it's going to be a long wait, you might as well put the kettle on."


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, so thanks for the reviews, I have an idea now of how to do it so that you all like it... hopefully. (And also thanks for the follows and favourites). I don't really have anything else to add...**

**Any how, here's the next part, please review, favourite and follow if you like :)**

**DISCLAIMER: Yeah... no**

CHAPTER SIX

She knew that they were watching her, waiting for her to speak, but she didn't. Instead, she silently accepted the cup of tea that was given to her by Lena and stared at its rim, trying to avoid either one of their gazes.

She heard Stef sigh and could easily picture her pursing her lips in irritation - she was becoming impatient - whilst Lena was, undoubtably sending her wife a warning look. The three of them continued to sit in silence, waiting.

"Callie, honey? Lena asked softly, putting her hand on top of the teen's own, "Please talk to us."

She shook her head, and Stef sighed again, this time louder than before.

"Well it's _your_ time that you're wasting - _we_ can sit here all day if that's what it takes."

She still didn't say anything, but lifted her head to glare at the older woman.

"Ah, eye contact!" Unfazed, Stef jokingly exclaimed, shooting the girl a lazy smirk, "Well, that's _something_ at least."

Callie rolled her eyes, a movement caught by both women.

"No." Gone was the humorous edge of Stef's words, her tone becoming stern and serious in an instant. "No, you may be cross with us - that's okay - but you must still respect us and our rules. No eye rolling, if you please."

"Stef..." Lena warned, shooting her a look.

"No, Lena! She doesn't respect _or_ trust us - and she needs too. She doesn't get to undermine us and our rules!"

"I do." Both women jumped when she spoke, and Callie winced at how small her voice sounded. "I do respect you - _both _of you!" She knew that she sounded desperate, but she_ was_ \- Stef's words about respect were too similar to what other foster parents had said... right before they locked her in a cupboard, or beat her... or just sent her away.

_Now you've done it, you're in for it. Didn't I say that this would happen? Doesn't this always happen? You're pathetic, thinking that this place would be any different. Completely and utterly pathetic._

She let out a small whimper and squeezed her eyes shut, urging herself not to cry. When that didn't work and she felt tears escaping, she bit down on the inside of her cheek, causing the metallic tang of blood to enter her mouth, but forcing herself to remain grounded and control her breathing.

"Callie?" Her eyes shot open and she saw Stef and Lena staring at her, their faces painted with worry and concern for her.

She didn't say anything, still focused on keeping her breathes calm and at a normal rate. Both moms exchanged looks as they watched her.

"Oh Callie," Stef sighed again, although this time her voice was sympathetic, and reached out, putting a hand on the teen's arm. "I'm sorry. I know you respect us really - you do your chores without complaint, follow the _majority_ of our rules, and work hard to please us - but you_ don't _trust us and I don't understand why. _Why_ don't up trust us? _What _do we need to do?_ How_ do we earn it?"

Callie bit her lip and shook her head.

"I_ do_ trust you." She told them, "I trust the two of you more than I've ever trusted any other foster parent before."

"Foster parent?" Lena's voice was full of hurt, "Is that what you consider us to be? Is that still all we are to you?"

Callie looked down, unable to meet with of their eyes. _They weren't meant to get upset, they weren't meant to care._

"Callie?" Stef asked, causing her to realise that she hadn't answered.

"No," she whispered, "you're more than just foster parents - you're family...you're my..." She trailed off, her eyes widening. She'd been about to call them her moms. _She'd been about to call them her moms_. Her_ moms._

"No!" She jumped up, and shook her head vigorously. "I'm sorry." With an apologetic look, she took the opportunity to escape and fled the room, leaving the two shell shocked and more than a little confused moms behind for the second time that day.

...

It soon became clear that Callie was no longer in the house, however, it was only one _both_ Stef and Lena had circled the block with their cars _thrice_ that they called the other teens downstairs, where they met and ensembles in the living room.

"Have any of you seen Callie?" Stef asked, cutting straight to the chase.

"What do you mean?" Jude asked in alarm, "Why don't you know?"

"Yeah, I thought that she was still with you?" Jesus questioned frowning slightly.

"Well, we were, er, talking to Callie but she got upset and..." Stef trailed off, hesitant to finish her sentence.

"Ran away." Jude nodded, understanding now on his face.

"Are you sure?" Mariana asked, looking from one mom to the other. "I mean, unless she went upstairs, she doesn't have any of her belongings. Are you sure that she isn't just..."

"Having some time to herself? We thought about that Honey, but she doesn't have her phone on her - Stef checked and it's still in this house - which means that's it's really important that you answer mom's question; _have any of you seen Callie?"_

After each kid had shook their head, the two women turned to each other, silently communicating, before Stef nodded.

"Okay." She let out a deep breathe, "Well in that case, you guys can go and continue whatever you were doing before. If Callie contacts any of us, you've have to tell us straight away, got it? Now try not to worry, okay? Me and Mama will handle this." She shot them all a small smile, but only received three in return.

As the others had left the room, Jude remained standing and looked from one mom to the other.

"Why was she so upset?"

"Erm..." Lena's eyes flickered to her partner's as she tried to gauge how much to tell him. "We wanted to _continue_ the talk from earlier, to see if she'd tell us if anything was bothering her or how happy she was and..." She sighed, trailing off.

"It's okay, I get it - you were trying to work out if she actually wanted to be here - with you guys. You wanted to know if that's what's upsetting her." Jude shook his head. "It isn't. So what happened after that?"

"We...talked." Lena sighed before continuing, "Stef said something about trust, and she told us how she viewed us as family... She almost called us her moms, but ran off instead."

"Well you are," Jude stated in a matter-of-fact kind of s tone. He tilted his head, frowning slightly. "If that's why she left, then I don't think she's ran way - though I _do_ have an idea of where she might be."

...

She couldn't believe that she'd came here, not when she hadn't visited in years. But when she'd almost called Stef and Lena her moms and had then fled the house, she'd only had one coherent thought;_ her._

Sighing, Callie bent down and touched the smooth surface of the slab of granite in front of her.

_"Hi Mom."_


	7. Chapter 7

**So I'm happy, like ridiculously so. I got into the 6th form I wanted to -plus this story now has over 30 reviews (****30!**** Three-Zero! Wow!) - and that means I've been smiling practically nonstop since then. I'm not exaggerating - my face really hurts now! Still, as I'm so happy I decided to do what every 'sane' happy person would do, write a sad chapter... I mean, it's ultra logical and sense-ical, right?**

**So anyway, thanks for the reviews, faves and follows, they are gratefully accepted and treasured :D **

**This chapter has ended up being double the normal length (2527 words including all of this), so please do** r**eview, fave and follow if you like this chapter. Oh! And again, feel free to PM me either with suggestions/advice for this (or other) stories, or just for a chat :)**

**DISCLAIMER: Sure I own the Fosters, I also own a rainbow coloured gorilla and the moon (which IS made out of cheese - I checked when I went in my TARDIS.). What do you mean you don't believe me?! Oh fine! I own nothing. *goes to sulk in the corner***

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

She slowly sat down, facing the grave, making her eyes level with her mother's name;

_Colleen Ann Jacobs_

_Loving mother, wife and daughter._

The plot was clean, tidy. There were no weeds lying about, no graffiti, no cracks in the stone, nothing to reveal just how few visitors or visits Colleen got. Though, she considered, now that Donald was a free man, he probably visited too. Despite everything, she knew that her parents, that Colleen and Donald, had loved each other. She also knew that they hadn't been bad parents - even with Donald's past drinking and random absences, or with Colleen lying about Robert and where her gene pool actually came from. And yet, she wasn't sure if she _did_ know that. After all, wasn't she replacing the two of them - Colleen with Stef and Lena and Donald with Robert? Did she even care about them anymore? Did _they_ even care about _her_?

Donald had given up his rights to her so easily, first legally when he'd signed her and Jude's abandonment papers and then biologically when he'd admitted to not _actually_ being related to her.

And Colleen... for a long time after the accident, Callie had believed that her mother had been watching over her, looking out and protecting her. But she'd slowly came to realise that that couldn't possibly be.

After all, what kind of mother would just watch as her child got abused by family after family? No, it was easier for Callie to believe that she wasn't out there than to hate her for not doing anything when she'd needed the help or comfort of her mother the most. It meant that Callie could still think the best of her. But, at the same time, she'd found the Fosters. Out of all the families, all the crappy homes that she _could_ have ended up in, she'd found the Fosters. And, whether she liked to admit it or not, that gave her hope that maybe, just maybe, Colleen _was_ watching over her, maybe she _did_ still care about her.

_Yeah, right. Like anyone could care about you. If she _is_ still watching, then she gave up on you years before - when it became clear just how pathetic you truly are. She's probably so ashamed of you that she couldn't give two shits about what happens to you. You don't deserve _anything. _Unlike Jude, _he_ deserves the Fosters and a chance to be happy, not you. If she had anything to do with you landing a place with them, then it's because of Jude - he's the one she cares about, not you. After all, it's not like you were part of her family - not her proper one, not really. She _knew _that you weren't Donald's, she knew that you, unlike Jude, weren't the child of the man she loved - truly loved - so why should she have cared about you at all? She shouldn't have. She shouldn't still. You're nothing important. You're nothing at all._

She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts, but with nobody around and no distractions, it wasn't long before she fell back into them.

_Pathetic. You know that it's true, that that's what you are, and there's no point in denying it. Not that you would, you're too pathetic to even stand up to your own thoughts, let alone other people. Look at you, a pathetic snivelling waste of space, there's nothing good about you, nothing worthwhile. You're meaningless, your whole existence is really. But you already knew that, didn't you? You already know just how fucking worthless you are. You're a worthless, pathetic piece of shit, and nothing more. If your mom was still alive and saw what you've became and what you've always been, then she's wish that it was _you_ who died in the accident, not her. She would _hate_ you._

"No." She whispered, shaking her head, "No, no, no! Mommy, I'm sorry." At the back of her mind, she was dimly aware of the tears that spilled from her eyes and ran down her cheeks, but she ignored them, instead curling up into a tight ball beside the grave. She stayed like that, shaking slightly from the sobs that escaped her body, as she physically and mentally leant on the stone stab that represented her mother and memories.

Pushing her thoughts to the side, she concentrated on those memories instead, eagerly snatching hold of the first one that came to mind, for once welcoming them.

_._..

_She was five. Her mom, rather pregnant, was standing in the corner of the room, talking in hushed tones on the phone as she tightly gripped its white, cracked plastic casing, and, every now and then, she glanced over at her, checking that her daughter was still okay. _

_She sat on the floor just in front of the sofa, playing with her dolls and teddies, but also watching her mom. She was just getting Ariel, her mermaid doll, to ride on the back of Isaac the doggie in order to reach the mysterious land of Under the Sofa, when her mom hung up and walked over to her. Crouching down, she smiled at Callie, who beamed in response._

_"What's the mission today, CallaBalla?" She asked, using her favourite affectionate nickname for the girl. _

_"Ariel and Isaac are going to be fighting Aslan and Buzzy-Bee." The girl responded, her tone serious, the belief so clear in her eyes that Colleen couldn't help but laugh at her innocence._

_"Oh Cals, I wished you'd never change!"_

_The girl grinned at that excitedly. "Does that mean I can wear my pyjamas to school?!" She asked hopefully._

_"No!" Colleen laughed again. "Oh, baby, I love you _so_ much!" She leant forward and tucked a stray strand of hair behind Callie's ear, before wrapping her arms around the girl, who giggled in response._

_"Silly mommy," She said, "I'm not a baby! The baby's inside of you - that's why you're _soooo_ fat!"_

_Colleen snorted at that and gently swatted the girl's bottom. "Cheeky!"_

_The little girl shrugged. "It's true though." She informed her mother in a solum tone, her big brown eyes serious. Colleen's laughter grew, causing Callie to join in too, and soon the two of them were lying on the floor, teddies scattered carelessly around their heads, consumed by a fit of giggles. But then Colleen wasn't laughing anymore. Instead, huge, fat tears rolled down her face as sobs shook her body._

_"Mommy?" The girl frowned, concern on her face as she sat up and put a hand on her mother's arm. "Mommy, what's wrong?"_

_Colleen shook her head and slowly stood up, making her way to the sofa, were she sat down. Curling her legs so that she was half-sitting on them, she patted the empty space next to her, indicating that Callie should join her. The girl did just that, clambering up and resting her head on her mother's stomach._

_"Nothing's wrong," She told her daughter, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I just love my little CallaBalla _so_ much that sometimes it hurts." _

_"Oh," Callie looked up apologetically, "I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you, honestly. I love you too, mommy." _

_Colleen shook her head, "No," she told her daughter, "Don't be sorry. I just want to make sure that you know just how much I love you and how it'll never ever change - not when the baby's born, or when you get older, or even when I'm gone." _

_"Gone?" Callie frowned, confused, "Do you mean like when I go to school, o when Daddy goes to work?" _

_Colleen shook her head again. "No, my little CallaBalla, not like that. I mean when I _leave_." _

_"Leave?!" There was a note of panic in the girl's voice now. "You're leaving?! Please don't go - I promise that I'll tidy up my room and eat all my peas, I _promise_!" _

_Colleen laughed, but it was a sad laugh, a complete contrast from their happy giggling only moments before. _

_"No, not like that either. When I leave you, I won't have a choice. If I did, then I wouldn't leave you, not for _anything_, not _ever_. But we all end up leaving in the end, we live and then we die. And when we die we leave everyone behind, but we get to watch over them and see them live." _

_Callie shook her head. "But if you stayed then you wouldn't have to just watch them." _

_Colleen sighed, and gathered her young daughter into her arms, hugging her tightly. "But if we didn't die then what would be the point in living?" She asked gently. _

_Callie's bottom lip stuck out as she thought about it. She shook her head again. "I still don't want you to leave me." _

_Colleen let out a small, humourless laugh. "And I won't - not really and not completely. You'll always have your memories of me, CallaBalla, I promise you that." _

_Callie looked at her mom, studying her face. Deciding that she was telling the truth, she nodded. "Okay," She said, "Well then _I_ promise _you_ that I'll never ever _ever_ forget you!"_

_Snuggling into her mother's side, she ended the conversation there, putting her thumb in her mouth and wrapping her pointer finger around the bridge of her nose. Mother and daughter lay there in silence, taking comfort in one another's company. _

_Two days later, Callie found out what her mom's phone call had been about; her Grandpa had died in his sleep. Her mom was now an orphan and no longer had any other living relatives. _

_..._

Callie sighed. Sitting up, she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I'm sorry, mommy." She whispered. "I know that I don't talk about you and I'm not sure how much Jude even remembers about you, but I haven't forgotten you. I promised that I wouldn't and I haven't. But I want to be happy with Stef and Lena, and I want Robert to be part of my life - even if you ween't ver going to tell me about him. I know that he probably hates me right now, and you probably do too because I haven't visited in a long time. And the thought of the two of you hating me, it... it scares me. What chance do I have with the Fosters, the most wonderful, kind and caring family I've ever met, if my own parents hate me? None at all, and I'd be stupid to even think otherwise. And yet here I am, at your gravestone, begging for you to forgive me. I'm sorry I haven't visited, I'm sorry I never speak about you and I'm sorry I never kissed you goodbye, like I should have. I'm so sorry mommy, please forgive me! I don't mean to be stupid and pathetic, I don't mean to make you ashamed. I'm so _so _sorry. If you forgive me, I promise to talk about you - to Jude and to other people. I love you mommy, and I'm never _ever_ going to forget you. Please forgive me so that I can have a chance with the Fosters - I know it's selfish of me, but... please."

She sighed and sat, one arm hugging her knees, whilst with the other she rubbed the bridge of her nose, self-soothing as tear after tear fell noisily to the ground.

Apart from her sobs, it was silent, nobody around to see her shell cracking, to see her becoming this pitiful vulnerable creature in front of her mother's grave. She was alone, until -

"Callie?"

She jumped at the familiar voice. Frowning, she turned to look at its owner and the two other people standing either side of him. One look at the sympathetic expressions on both of Stef and Lena's faces and she knew. They'd heard her. They knew, and she couldn't do anything to stop it from being so. She didn't know it was possible, but she began sobbing more at that, the tears rapidly falling.

Wordlessly, Stef walked over to her and wrapped her into a loving hug. When she didn't protest, Lena moved to join in, and she rested her head on the woman's shoulder as she rubbed her back, her hand moving in a circular movement as she soothed the crying teen. Jude, slightly hesitant as first due to not seeing his sister like this in a long time, was the last to join in the hug.

After a while, the hugging stopped as Jude and Lena excused themselves, heading over to the car in order to give Stef and Callie a moment. The two of them slowly made their way to the vehicle, Stef slinging her arm around the girl's shoulders, causing the girl to rest her head on it as they walked.

"Oh, Love," Stef whispered in her ear, "Let me tell you a little secret - no parent can ever not forgive their child and you haven't done anything that needs forgiving. Your mom loves you and so do we. And nothing can change that, never ever ever. No matter what happens in life, you'll always be forgiven and you'll always be loved. And you're extra lucky - you have, what, five parents? And they all love you, each and every one of them, okay?"

Callie nodded.

_Maybe she wasn't as worthless as she thought._


	8. Chapter 8

**So, sorry about the wait. I was sort of trying to work out what to write next - the story's kinda stopped going the way I'd planned. Still, hopefully, this chapter is okay... though it's still kinda short... :/**

**Thanks again for the reviews, follows and favourite, they really, REALLY make my day, so please do continue if you like how this story is going :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything regarding the Fosters, it's sad but that's the truth :'(**

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

She didn't say much as she got into the car. In fact, she didn't say _anything_ \- after all they'd already heard everything, and she didn't particularly want to risk crying again.

At some point, she'd stopped crying and she wanted to keep it that way. It seemed as though it was all that she'd been doing recently. Hell, if crying was an olympic sport she'd have won gold medals and then home.

She was so sick of crying, of being a pathetic snotty-nosed _kid who cried at the drop of a hat._

_"It's bloody ridiculous a girl of your age to be snivelling like a fucking baby!"_

She jumped slightly as the angry words of a previous foster parent echoed through her mind.

She knew which house it was from, how could she forget? She'd learnt many important lessons there. She'd been twelve years old and it was their third home in two years. This home had for other children, all younger than her. As the oldest, she had the longest chore list, a larger number of rules to follow and more responsibilities on a whole - like making sure that the younger ones were fed, bathed and had done _their_ chores. It also meant that she was the one that got punished the most - and that her punishments would be more severe. Her punishments there were always inventive; if she forgot to make sure they'd washed then her foster father would drag her over to the bath and hold her head under the scalding water, periodically lifting up her head for about five seconds in order for her to catch her breathe before plunging it back under, if she failed to control them and stop them after lights out, then she was forced to spend the night in the airing cupboard. And if she cried... if she cried then that meant she was acting like a baby, and therefore she was treated like one. She'd end up being forced to spent the night sleeping in the old cot that her foster parents kept in the attic from when their own, now grown up children had been younger, and would be given pureed vegetables or leftovers for her meals - which leaving or refusing to eat would result in a week without food.

She'd hated it there and had always considered it one of the worst homes she'd been in, but it'd taught her something important, something that she'd valued and always followed - no matter what, don't cry.

She'd taught herself how not to cry or, if all else failed, how to convincingly hide her tears. And it'd worked, in every house she'd been in since that one... until she'd been placed with the Fosters.

She loved the fosters, of course she did, but she hated how weak they made her, how the safety and security that they provided had caused her to become this pitiful creature, whose vulnerability was clear for everyone to see. Her walls were down and it was their fault. She knew exactly how and _why_ it'd happened - they'd been the first foster family to truly show Jude and her love and kindness, the first family not to ridicule Jude for his differences or hurt her for protecting and looking out for her brother. It was the first place in a long time that'd felt like home and they actually wanted the two of them to join their family.

Yeah, it was easy to see why she'd gotten attached to them.

But she shouldn't have.

Because it wasn't right.

Because they still hadn't officially adopted her.

And, knowing her luck, they probably never would.

...

"Callie?" She looked around, away from the window, and smiled at her brother.

"Yeah, Bud?"

"Are you okay?"

She sighed, her smile becoming sad, and shrugged. "Yeah... No... I don't know." She subconsciously rubbed her index finger against the bridge of her nose, before sighing again. "I'm fine, Bud. I was just thinking about mom..." She trailed off, shrugging again.

"Oh." Jude frowned slightly, but didn't say anything else. After all, why would he - she'd always taught him not to, as though mentioning anything to do with Colleen Jacob was some sort of evil taboo. Well, not any more. She'd meant what she'd said to her mom, and - though the logical part of her brain was telling her that it didn't matter, that Colleen had loved her no matter what, just like Stef had promised - she still felt as though it was the only way.

Shooting her brother a small smile, she wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him close, so that inly their seat belts separated them.

"You know Mom, _our_ mom -" Here, she glanced nervously at Stef and Lena to make sure that neither one of them was offended, before continuing at the reassuring smile that Lena sent her way, "-Used to drive us around the block with the classical music station on until we fell asleep after she'd fought with Donald - with our dad."

"Oh." Jude repeated, his voice quiet and his tone soft. "I didn't know that. I... I don't remember much."

Callie shot him a small smile, "I know that we don't talk much about her, and I know that that's my fault, but we can. If you want to, we can talk about her - you deserve to be able to remember her and those memories that you _do_ have, you should be proud of them, Bud, because Mom would have been proud of you."

Jude frowned again, tilting his head slightly. "How do you know that?"

Callie smiled at him again. "Because there's no way that anyone can't be, Bud." She told him, "You're an amazing boy - I can't name a single other person whose as kind, good or honest as you are. You've always been the good kid, Jude. The only reasons we've ever been kicked out of foster homes if because of me or something I did."

At the front of the car, Stef and Lena shared a look, and Lena opened her mouth to object to Callie's last point when Jude interjected.

"You're wrong," He told his sister, "I know that we might end up being moved because of something you'd done, but most times that was because you were protecting me, because that's who you are - the most amazing sister that I could ever have. You're the bravest, most fearless person that I've ever known - remember all those times that they'd hurt you and you wouldn't cry, or even make a _noise_, because you knew that if you did I'd end up getting hurt too? I may not remember much about her, but I know that if our mom was proud of anyone, then it'd be you."

"Oh Jude," Callie sighed, her voice sad and full of disbelief. She weaved her fingers into his hair, playing absent-mindedly with it. "None of that makes me brave."

Jude shrugged slightly, and turned his head, moving away from her slightly. "You can say that all you like, but it's not true. Besides, you're wrong about me - Mom wouldn't be proud of me because I'm not as honest or trustworthy as you think." He took a deep breathe and closed his eyes, unwilling to see the look of disappointment on his sister's face that he was already anticipating.

"I lied," He told her, "I lied to Mama - to Lena. I lied when I told her that nothing happened in that tent."

...

_Note:__ So I just wanted to point out that as this story is a sequel to my previous story then that means that different things happen from the end of 2A onwards - for example I realised that Jude never told Lena that something happened in the tent (either with the lie about the girls or otherwise) and Lena never got her previous job back. I'll probably get Lena to get her job back, but a this story is kinda Callie-orientated I figured adding this note here made sense?_

_I'm not going to go into detail about Jude and Conner's relationship or anything, because I'm not really sure _how_... So yeah..._


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey, so sorry for the wait... In all honesty, I haven't really been feeling this story reccently and I'm not sure if that's because it's strayed so far off track or just because of the lack of reviews, favourites and follows that I got for the last update... **

**Any how, here's the next part, so yeah...**

**NOTE: So somehow thi schapter has ended up ultra ULTRA short and is basically JUST Callie's thoughts... sorry...**

**Please favourite/follow/review if you liked it :)**

**DISCLAIMER: The Fosters don't belong to me. I own nothing.**

**CHAPTER NINE**

_Her baby brother was gay._

_Her baby brother had kissed his friend when they'd gone camping._

_Her baby brother had lied about it to everyone._

_Her baby brother had provided Lena with the final straw, causing her to quit her work._

_But most importantly, her baby brother hadn't told_ her.

_He said that he hadn't wanted to disappoint her. He said that he hadn't wanted her to be upset. What he didn't say aloud, but was still clearly saying was that he didn't think she'd have understood, or even have supported him. Instead, he'd immediately thought the worst._

_He hadn't even considered that maybe she already knew, that maybe she'd already guessed._

_Maybe it was her fault._

_Maybe she should have tried better._

_Maybe she should have realised how self-centred she'd became, and how Jude had stopped talking about Conner, his friend... No, _his boyfriend.

_She wanted to tell him that she didn't mind, that it didn't matter. She'd always known, even before she'd realised she that she did. He was gay, and that was okay, she din't mind, didn't care. He was still Jude, _her_ Jude. The Jude that she'd swap Christmas presents with when they were little, exchanging her barbies for his nerf gun, the Jude who loved to climb and once caused her parents when they couldn't find him anywhere in the house only for it to turn out that he was quietly sitting in the tree at the front of the yard, happily swaying in the branches as the tree moved in the soft breeze, and the Jude who never stopped smiling, never stopped believing that they'd find their forever family, their anchor._

And she wanted to put that into words, to explain to him that he had nothing to be ashamed off, nothing to fear, but Stef had pulled the car to the side and Lena was already leaning over her seat and explaining that to him, so she did the next best thing. She hugged him tightly, breathing in his sweet, innocent scent as she rested her cheek on the top of his head.

Without saying anything, she'd conveyed her love for him, her pure unconditional love for her little brother. They stayed like that for the rest of the way home, both happy to be in one another's company.

However, their sense of peace didn't last long. AS they pulled up outside the house, Mariana ran out, her eyes wide and her breathing frantic,

"Moms!" She all-but yelled, "Thank God!" Before they could ask what was wrong, she was hugging Callie tightly. "I'm sorry," She told her sister, "But that was the hospital, there's been an accident and the Quinns need you there."


	10. Chapter 10

**This is ultra ULTRA short, and for that I'm sorry. However, I need this part to be separate from the next chapter so it's must going to have to be this way.. again, sorry :/**

**As always, please review, favourite and follow if you like it, or feel free to PM me with suggestions :)**

**NOTE: This chapter has some topics that I guess could possibly be considered heavy (dying)... So be warned...**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. And, as sad as it is, I never will. :'(**

**CHAPTER ****TEN**

She felt like she couldn't breathe the whole way there. The hospital, they were in the hospital. Her father, her _sister,_ they'd been injured. And in a fucking car accident of all things.

_Of course they were. You go and visit your mom, you beg for her forgiveness, and then this happens. If this doesn't prove how undeserving you are then who knows what will. If you weren't fucking pathetic then this wouldn't have happened. If you hadn't argued with them - if you hadn't _left_ them then this wouldn't have happened. It's all your fault. It's all your fault. It's all your fault. It's all your-_

"Sweets?" She looked up, removing her head from her hands and sitting up in the cracked plastic hospital chair as Stef's voice interrupted her thoughts. They'd been in the waiting room for almost an hour and a half and she didn't - _couldn't_ \- understand what was taking so long.

"Callie?" Stef spoke again, causing her to realise that she had't actually heard what had been said. At her questioning look, Stef shot her a small smile and repeated her question, "I'm going to grab a coffee from the machines, want anything?"

She shook her head, mute, her face blank and unable to return Stef's smile.

"Okay."

She watched as Stef left, pulling her knees up to her chest and hugging them tightly, using them as a shield from the rest of the world whilst she silently wept.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all. Why should they be the ones to get hurt? They didn't deserve it - not like her. She'd deserve it, she already did. There was no point for her to live, to exist, unlike the Quinns. Robert was too caring, too family-orientated, to die now would be such a waste, Jill had been welcoming of her, despite everything, she too, was too kind-hearted to deserve such a tragic death. And Sophia... Sophia was too young, too innocence. She had _everything_ to live for, a caring family, an excellent future, a_ worthwhile_ life.

_Not like you. If you died then it'd be no big loss, no huge tragedy. You're not needed, not special, not a necessity. If you died would anyone _really _care?_

She looked up, tilting her head back to stare at the white-washed ceiling as she sucked in a large, sharp breath. Counting down from ten, she waited before releasing her breath. She repeated her actions thrice more, concentrating solely on that, refusing to listen to her thoughts.

_All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. _**_All your fault._**

It didn't work. She felt panic rising in her chest, her breath becoming uneven, each quicker than the previous. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think couldn't-

_All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault. __All your fault._

"Callie!"

Stef's face appeared before hers as the older woman knelt on the floor beside her, clasping hold of her hands in reassurance, "Sweets, are you okay?"

If she wasn't panicking so much, Callie would have rolled her eyes. Her biological father, half-sister and his wife was in the hospital, possibly fighting fortheir lives and Stef was asking if _she_ was okay.

_What did it matter? She was nothing important._


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey so I'm sooooo sorry for the huuuuuuuuge delay. Honestly, I don't have any excuses. I haven't really been feeling the story and just... didn't know what to write :3**

**To be completely honest, I think I wrote the previous chapter wrong. Callie was meant to be really upset, angry at herself, but I didn't mean for her to seem suicidal, to want to kill herself... so... I'm not sure what to write now. The responses to that chapter were... encouraging. Which makes me think that if that's how you want the story to go, then I can try to write it like that, but it might mean changing a couple of things and I'll have to re-plan (that said, I've already gone completely off-track to what I'd planned, so it probably wouldn't be toooo tricky). So yeah, please let me know. :)**

**Also, this is going to be short, like really short, so sorry about that too :/**

**As always, please review, favourite and/or follow if you like it and yeah... again, I'm sorry :/**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. At all.**

**NOTE: EDIT - 24/11 New sentences added, so a little more detail. I think it makes more sense now :3**

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

She stood in the doorway, not daring to go inside, not daring to leave, just... hovering, unsure of what to do. It was the third day since the accident, the third day she's visited the hospital, the third day she'd gotten no further than the doorway.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

She met the angry eyes of the person in the chair next to the bed - Sophia. Hostility rolled off the younger girl's body in huge tidal waves as she waited for Callie to speak.

But she didn't. She wanted to, to explain herself, but she couldn't.

Because instead her eyes had traveled to the figure in the bed, machinery monitoring his every move.

Robert.

_Her_ father.

Her_ father._

After the first day, both Sophia and Jill had been released. Sophia had sustained a slight hairline fracture to her left wrist, but other than that both women were unharmed. Unlike Robert.

Robert who'd been driving.

Robert who was currently still unconscious in bed.

Robert who didn't know how much she loved him.

She felt her heart clench as she realised how much she didn't want to lose him, how much she _couldn't_. And it wasn't even just because she cared about him. It was because she was selfish, so fucking selfish.

_She didn't want to lose him because she didn't want to lose yet another parent._

_And knowing that that was what worried her, made her feel sick._

You_ feel sick? You, you, you. This isn't about you, you fucking piece of shit. This is about _Robert_. So get your head out of your arse and fucking do something about it. Fucking think about him, worry about him instead. He deserves that much._

She shook her head, clearing her thoughts and refocusing on Robert.

"I'm sorry." She wasn't aware that she'd said it, but she saw the reaction it cause from her half-sister. The girl's head snapped up from looking at her father and her eyes narrowed into a glare.

"Don't!" She yelled, "Don't say that! Don't lie. You're not sorry, you're _not!_ If you were, then you wouldn't have left, wouldn't have forced him to give you up. So don't lie. You owe us - you owe _him_ \- that much."

She tried to keep her expression steady, but she couldn't. By the end of Sophia's words, both girls had tears sliding down their cheeks.

"I-I didn't... I didn't mean for this to happen." She spoke softly, a huge contrast to the volumes at which the younger one had spoken, "I really, honestly didn't. This is my fault. My fault. IT always is." Choking back a sob, she fled from the room, unable to stand being there, unable to cope with the accusation in her younger sister's eyes.

Sophia watched her go, not moving, not saying a word, just watching. Only once the older teen was out of sight, did she look away, did she begin to cry, and cry, and cry.

"She really is sorry."

Sophia looked up, surprised as a different voice spoke. Standing where his sister had been moments before, was Jude. The two of them were silent for a moment, weighing each other up.

"What?" She asked quietly, clearing her throat before hand.

"Callie," Jude bit his lip slightly, "She really is sorry. I-I know that I probably shouldn't have heard but I thought you'd want to know. And just because she left you doesn't mean that she doesn't care. It's what she does, see. She leaves when she finds herself getting too comfortable, it doesn't mean anything. But the fact she came back - and by talking to you and being _here_ she has - means a lot. It means that she cares, and I mean _really_ cares. So don't give up on her, okay? Please don't give up on her."

Sophia frowned. "What would you know?" She asked, "She's still with you."

"Yeah, _now_." At the girl's look of confusion, Jude elaborated. "But she raan away, you know, she left me at one point. She was even going to live independently rather than with me. It didn't mean that she didn't care. It didn't mean she was being selfish. All it meant was that she was being Callie, that she hadn't realised that she needed us, that we needed her. But then she did, so she came back. Just like she has to you."

"Oh." Sophia frowned slightly, "I guess that makes sense..."

"So you'll try?" Jude asked, hope clear in his eyes, "You'll try to forgive her and not give up on her?"

Only hesitating for a second, Sophia nodded. "Okay. I won't give up, and I'll forgive her."

Jude nodded, "Thank you." He told her earnestly, "Thank you."

"It's okay," The girl shifted slightly, embarrassed. "I guess if you're getting me to forgive her - allowing me t o have her as a sister too - then she must be special, she must be worth it."

"Yeah," Jude nodded again, "She is. She's the best sister in the world, I just don't think that she realises it."


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey, so honestly, I'm kinda just writing this to get this story over with. There's still a couple of chapters left (maybe ,more if I end up liking it again) but I figure it's high time you guys get an update.**

**As always, please review, favourite and/or follow. Also, if anyone has any suggestions/ wants the story to go a particular way, then please feel free to either add it to a review or PM me and I'll see what i can do :)**

**NOTE: I've edited the previous chapter and added a little more, so yeah... just so you know.**

**DISCLAIMER: Yeah... I don't own diddly squat. :3**

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

After her confrontation with Sophia, Callie felt as though she was about to burst. Rushing out of the room, she sped past Stef and Lena, and rushed outside, where, once she'd reached the hospital courtyard, she began to pace, agitated as she tried to collect her thoughts and recompose herself.

She couldn't stand staying there, at the hospital, mere meters away from her unconscious father, her emotionally hurt half-sister, her cautious step-mother.

_Step-mother? Is that what she thought of Jill as. Surely that meant that she viewed Robert as her father, that she saw him as family? _She frowned to herself, stopping mid pace, before shaking her head and continuing. _Well of course she did, he was her father and Sophia was her sister. They were her family. But so were the Fosters. They all were, all of them._

A brief smile appeared on her face, but it had fallen before she'd even realised it'd been there.

Knowing her bad luck, chances were that only once she really considered Robert family would he be ripped away from her. After all, hadn't Colleen, her _mother_, died during an argument with her? There would almost be a sense of irony there is both her parents ended up dying without making up with her - without _forgiving_ her.

_Oh for fuck's sake! Stop pitying yourself and do something about it. You have a chance this time, just don't fuck it up. _

She smiled again, but this time it stuck. For once, her thoughts made sense to her, she knew exactly what to do.

Still smiling and holding her head up high, she turned around and re-entered the building.

"CALLIE!"

"There she is!"

"See, I _told_ you that she was okay!"

"Please, I knew that. And _I'm_ the one who told _you_ that she was outside getting fresh air!"

"Hey..."

"She'd barely entered the ward that Robert was in when she collided with a mass gaggle of people, all of which clearly supported and loved her, and all of which she, in turn, supported and loved. Her siblings.

Jude, Brandon, Mariana, Jesus and... Sophia.

The latter shot her a shy, rather apologetic look as the others all hugged her. Callie returned the silent sorry, accompanying it with a smile of reassurance.

Hugging the younger girl tightly, she squeezed her shoulder. "It's okay, I understand. I'm sorry too."

Much to her surprised, Sophia responded to that by bursting into tears, positively bawling in her arms.

"I d-don't want him to d-d-die!" She sobbed, "It isn't f-fair!"

Callie sent a quick glance at her other siblings, silently communicating with them. As much as she appreciated their support - and truly she did - she knew that right now was a moment purely for her and Sophia. Brandon nodded, understanding in his eyes, as he led the twins away. Jude, however, was more hesitant.

Biting his lip, he looked Callie directly in the eye. "Are you sure you don't want me here?" It wasn't in an accusing or judgmental way, it was her younger brother comforting her, reassuring her and telling her that it was okay with him and that he understood.

"Yeah, I'm sure Bud, thanks."

"Okay." He nodded. "Sophia?" Reaching out, he gently touched her shoulder, "Are you okay? I can stay if you want?" Watching her brother comfort her sister, Callie couldn't stop - not that she wanted to do so - the feeling of pride as she realised the kind, thoughtful young man that her brother had became.

Sniffing, Sophia smiled thankfully at him. "I'm okay," She said, "Thanks, Jude."

"Okay." He repeated, before leaving the two girls, going off toward the direction that the others had left in.

Once he'd left, Callie gently took the still sniffling girl into the adjacent room, sitting her down in a plastic chair near to Robert's bed, but not directly in front of it - the conversation she was about to have was going to be hard enough s it was without looking at him the entire time.

"Hey," She whispered, putting her hand under the girl's chin and tilting it upwards so that Sophia was looking her in the ye, "It'll be okay, everything will work out in the end."

A lone tear slid down Sophia's cheek. "But what if he dies?!" She wailed, "What do I do then?"

"Well..." Slowly, Callie sat down next to her sister, making sure to keep her voice steady, "Well, then you stay strong. You survive... You stay thankful that you and your mom are okay and that you had him in your life, that you have those memories. But you also make sure that you don't block people out - trust me, I know - even if it seems like the easiest thing to do. Blocking people and keeping them out is easy, it's letting them back in that's tricky, but it's the letting them back in that helps the most... do you get what I'm saying?"

"Yes," Sophia sniffed, "I think so."

Turning the chair around to look at their father, they remained silent for a moment, tightly holding each other's hands.

"Callie...?" Sophia asked, her voice hesitant and uncertain.

"Yes?"

"When your mom died, what did you do?"

"The wrong thing. I shut everyone out - everyone but Jude - and it's only recently that I realised how wrong that was." She shrugged, fully admitting that she'd been wrong. "But Sophia, you know what? I promise you that if anything happens - and even if it doesn't. You can talk to me, I'll listen to you, okay."

Now it was the younger girl who bit her lip as she looked at Callie, evaluating what she'd just said. "Thank you." It was said quietly, so much so that it almost went unheard. But Callie heard.

She smiled. "No," She said, "Thank you. For giving me another chance, for letting me be your sister, for letting me comfort you."

"And Callie?" Sophia asked, her voice anxious as she looked at her older sister, "Will you still come round, still see me, if he dies? I mean, I know you only got to know us because of him..."

"Because I only knew about him then, not you." Callie corrected, "And of course."

They fell back into a comfortable silence that was only broken when Stef gently knocked on the door.

"Hey Sweets," She said with a smile, "It's time to go now. Say your goodbyes, okay?"

"Sure." With a nod, Callie got up. Sophia, too, stood and the two of them shared a quick hug. "Call me if you get any news, okay?"

The younger girl nodded and Callie turned her attention to the man lying in front of her.

"Bye Robert, please wake up soon." Walking over to stand near his pillow, she bent down and placed a light kiss on his forehead. "Please, you're my _dad_ and I... I love you."

For a moment, as she walked away, she thought that the beeps from the monitors changed pattern, that were some irregular reading from him. However, she quickly dismissed the thought, deciding instead that her ears were playing tricks on her, that it was just her getting her hopes up.

Or at least that's what she thought until a voice spoke.

A voice that sounded like it hadn't spoken in a good couple of days.

A voice that she'd been preparing herself to never hear again.

A voice that belonged to her father.

"You have no idea how long I've been looking forward to hearing that."


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey, so this may seem rushed or wrong or something, but I've just... I'm really hating this story at the moment. I think I need to rewrite it... like completely. However, I'm also aware that some people actually want to read this, so I'll add some more to it any how. I apologise about how long it's been since the last update, but I really... I just don't like this story any more and so have no motivation to write it... :s**

**This is also ridiculously short... like one of the shortest yet... whoops :s**

**Anyhow, feel free to review, favourite or follow if you like it and you can also PM me or review a suggestion if you have an idea as to what you want to happen... So yeah... Sorry :s**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything.**

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

She blinked, twice, utterly speechless as she heard those words... in _his _voice.

"Dad?" Unlike her, Sophie had no trouble speaking, her voice so joyful, so full of hope that it was infectious - already, she could feel it spreading to her.

"Robert?" She questioned, her voice betraying how eager she was for him to speak as she waited for him to say something - _anything - _else.

"Uhuh." He sat up slightly, his face scrunching up in pain as he did so. "It's me all right."

"DADDY!" With a shriek, Sophia flung herself onto him, engulfing him into a huge hug. "You're okay! Thank god you're okay - I don't know what I would have done if you'd-" She broke off abruptly, the happiness in her eyes rapidly disappearing. "I'm so glad you're okay." She whispered, her voice a huge contrast from what it had been just moments before, "And so is Callie..."

At her name, both father and daughter looked at the teen. And that was all that was required in order for her to break down. Bawling loudly, she stood in the centre of the room, large fat tears rolling down her cheeks. She knew both of them were watching her, she could sense their worry even without them verbalising it, but she couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

_Seriously?! Are you really that selfish that you can't even let Robert - _your dad - _be the only cause of concern right now?! He just got into a fucking car crash - all you've done today is mope around, feeling sorry for yourself. P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C. You disgust me._

Without a word, without a single explanation, she fled from the room, leaving her father and sister bewildered.

...

She didn't get far - how could she, her Moms were just metres away in the waiting room, as was Jude, who she didn't want to worry? Instead, she headed to the toilets, where she locked the cubicle door and just _broke down_. She cried until she could barely breathe, each breath coming out in irregular wheezes that she couldn't control.

Her vision seemed to be swimming in and out of focus and her head was beginning to hurt. Unable to help herself, she knelt by the toilet and threw up, continuing to do so until there was nothing left. Leaning back, she rest her back on the cool surface of the door until her breathing had slowed and she was able to both see and think more clearly. She knew that if she spent too much longer, then Stef would go back to Robert's room and, upon discovering that she was no longer there, promptly track her down. As a result, she knew that she had to leave the room soon and so she reluctantly got up on shaking legs. Moving to the sink, she splashed her face with cool water, erasing the tear tracks from her face and attempting to make herself look more presentable.

Once she was happy, she finally unlocked the door and headed back to Robert's room.

Neither Robert nor Sophia said anything, and for that she was grateful. Instead, they both offered her small, reassuring smiles which she returned.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes - well, she did, Robert and Sophia spoke quietly to each other, before Callie checked her phone. "I've got to go," She told them, "But I'll speak to you both soon."

Both said their goodbyes, and she headed to the door, only stopping when her hand touched the doorknob.

"Oh, and Robert?" She turned and looked directly at him, "I'm really glad that you're okay."

"Thank you." He didn't say anything else, but then again, he didn't need to. His voice said it all.

With a quick nod, she left the room, finally ready to go home now that she knew her father was going to be okay.

For the whole car journey, she couldn't keep the small smile off her face.

_For once, luck seemed to be on her side._


End file.
